You Were Made for More: How to Reconnect With Purpose in Midlife

Have you ever looked at your life and thought: I have so much to be grateful for. So why do I still feel like something is missing?

Maybe, on paper, your life looks pretty good. You've built a career. Raised a family. Taken care of people. Checked a lot of the boxes you once thought would make you feel fulfilled.

And yet there's this quiet question that keeps showing up: Is this it?

If you've been feeling restless, disconnected, or like you've somehow lost touch with the person you used to be, it doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong. It may mean you're ready to ask a different question.

Not simply, "How do I feel better?" But: "What do I want this next chapter of my life to be about?"

Why Purpose Matters More Than We Realize

We tend to think about health in terms of what we can measure: blood pressure, weight, cholesterol, sleep, exercise, nutrition. Those things matter. But we're not just physical beings.

One of the frameworks I use in my work is SPIRE, which comes from the Wholebeing Institute. It looks at five interconnected dimensions of well-being: Spiritual. Physical. Intellectual. Relational. Emotional.

The spiritual dimension doesn't have to mean religion although, for many, it is connected to their faith. In this framework, it includes having a sense of meaning and purpose — feeling connected to something larger than yourself. And that matters because you can be doing many of the "right" things for your physical health and still feel as though something important is missing.

Positive psychology researcher Martin Seligman also includes meaning as one of the five components of his PERMA model of well-being.

Meaning isn't an optional extra. It's part of what helps us flourish.

Purpose Doesn't Have to Be One Enormous Calling

When we hear the word purpose, it's easy to make it intimidating. We imagine we're supposed to discover one giant life mission — some extraordinary thing we were put on this earth to accomplish.

But purpose doesn't have to look like that. Your purpose can show up in the way you raise your children, care for your parents, contribute through your work, volunteer in your community, create something meaningful, mentor someone, serve others, deepen your faith, or simply use what you're naturally good at in a way that matters.

And your purpose can change. What gave your life meaning at 30 may not be what gives it meaning at 50 or 60. That's one reason midlife can feel unsettling.

The roles and responsibilities that defined us for decades may begin to shift. Children grow up. Careers change. Relationships evolve. Our bodies change. And suddenly we have room to ask questions we may not have had the time — or need — to ask before.

Who am I now? What matters to me now? What do I want to do with the years ahead?

That isn't necessarily a crisis. It may be an invitation.

Your Strengths Can Offer Clues

One of my favorite places to begin exploring purpose is with character strengths.

Researchers Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman identified 24 character strengths that appear across cultures and belief systems — qualities such as curiosity, creativity, kindness, perseverance, gratitude, leadership, humor, spirituality, love of learning, and hope.

We all possess all 24 to some degree, but certain strengths tend to feel especially natural to us. These are often referred to as our signature strengths.

Knowing your strengths is useful. But the more interesting question is: Are you actually using them?

Because sometimes the dissatisfaction we feel isn't simply because we're tired or stressed. We may be spending much of our lives doing things that require us to operate outside the qualities that make us feel most like ourselves.

When you're able to use your strengths in meaningful ways, something can shift. You feel more engaged. More energized. More you.

Pay Attention to What Makes You Lose Track of Time

Another clue can be found in what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called flow.

Flow is that state where you're so absorbed in something that you lose track of time. The challenge is enough to engage you, your abilities are being used, and you're fully present in what you're doing.

You've probably experienced it. Maybe you're writing, teaching, gardening, dancing, solving a problem, creating something, helping someone, organizing, building, cooking, playing music, or learning something new — and suddenly you realize two hours have passed.

Those moments are worth noticing. They may be telling you something about where your interests, abilities, strengths, and energy naturally come alive.

Sometimes the Path to Purpose Isn't Straight

I know this personally.

I spent more than 30 years in education. I loved teaching health and wellness. I loved helping people understand how their choices affected their health. I loved standing in front of a room and teaching.

But eventually, that chapter of my life changed. And for a while, I didn't know exactly what the next chapter was supposed to look like.

I knew what I cared about. I knew what I was good at. I knew I wanted to help people. I just couldn't see how all the pieces fit together yet.

So I started following the breadcrumbs. Positive psychology. Coaching. Functional and integrative health. Fitness. Meditation and mindfulness. Behavior change. Speaking. Teaching.

For a while, they looked like separate interests. Eventually, I realized they weren't separate at all. They were pieces of the same puzzle.

And that realization eventually became the work I do today — helping women connect the dots between their health, mindset, strength, and sense of purpose.

I couldn't have drawn the path on a map beforehand. I could only see it by continuing to move.

That's important, because sometimes we think we have to find our purpose before we can take action. Often, it's the other way around. Purpose becomes clearer as we begin exploring.

Imagine Your Best Possible Future

There's a positive psychology exercise I love called Best Possible Future.

Instead of trying to answer the enormous question, What is my purpose?, give yourself permission to imagine.

Picture yourself several years from now. Things have gone well — not perfectly, but well. You're healthy enough to participate fully in your life. You're using your strengths. You're surrounded by people and experiences that matter to you. You're spending your time in ways that feel meaningful.

Then ask yourself: What are you doing? Who are you with? How do you spend your days? How do you feel? What are you contributing? What part of you has come back to life?

Don't worry yet about whether it's realistic. Just write.

Research on this exercise has found that imagining and writing about your best possible future can support optimism and well-being. And perhaps even more importantly, it can help you notice what you actually want.

And For Me, Faith Is Part of This Conversation

I can't talk about purpose without also talking about faith.

One of the verses I return to is Ephesians 2:10: "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

I love the idea contained in those words. That we were created intentionally. That the gifts, strengths, experiences, passions, and even some of the difficult chapters of our lives may become part of how we serve.

For me, purpose isn't simply about asking, What do I want to accomplish? It's also asking: What has God placed in me? How can I use it? Who might I be able to serve because of what I've learned and lived through?

And perhaps: What if some of the things I've been through weren't the end of my story, but preparation for something I couldn't see yet?

You Don't Have to Figure Out the Rest of Your Life Today

If you're feeling a little lost in midlife, you don't need to sit down this weekend and determine your life's purpose.

Start smaller. Notice what gives you energy. Notice what you're naturally good at. Notice what you care deeply about. Notice where people consistently come to you for help. Notice when you lose track of time. Notice the problems in the world that you can't seem to stop caring about.

And then follow one breadcrumb. Take the class. Make the phone call. Volunteer. Write. Create. Teach. Explore. Pray about it. Try something you've been thinking about for years.

Because you don't need the entire map before you take the first step. Sometimes you only discover what you're made for by moving toward it.

And your best chapter? It may still be ahead of you.

Podcast

This article was inspired by Episode 4 of Made for More: Holistic Health and Purpose for Women in Midlife: You Were Made For More — How to Reconnect With Purpose in Midlife.

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Made for More explores the connections between health, mindset, strength, and purpose — because the pieces of your health and your life aren't separate. They're connected.